I made the mistake of wearing panty hose underneath my spandex Calendar Girl dance costume last night. The audience at the Fort Myers Elks must have wondered what on earth was the matter with me. My pants kept sliding south. Fortunately, the top was a tunic, but I was in mortal fear that the pants would slide down even lower than the hem of the top. Dancing while yanking up one’s pants is not an attractive sight. Then when they slid too low, I was afraid I’d trip on them. Let me tell you this did nothing for my concentration. I was turning left instead of right and missing steps all night. Easily my worst performance ever, and one I sincerely hope never to repeat.